Red-Headed Reflections: Day 9: Cruising in Cologne

Tuesday was our day to explore Köln. We met Oliver, our tour guide, on shore. During the 10–15 minutes while everyone was gathering, he worked very hard to keep us from being hit by local cyclists. He warned us that cyclists had absolutely no regard for pedestrians. He had arrived at the ship that morning by bicycle and admitted that, while riding, he also had no regard for pedestrians.

Our guide, Oliver, tries to save us from ourselves and the local cyclists

Oliver began by teaching us two important terms: Kölsch is the beer served in Köln, and the city itself is called Köln, not Cologne.

Much of Köln had to be rebuilt after World War II because the city was heavily bombed. We all felt sorry for the people of Köln—until we remembered that we were in Germany and that it was the Allied forces who had done the bombing. Oliver acknowledged that Germany had been the aggressor, but he pointed out that the decisions that led to the war had not been made by ordinary townspeople, who still suffered tremendous losses.

As we began our walking tour, a large group of schoolchildren passed us. Oliver suggested they might be returning from a tour of the nearby chocolate museum, but it was still morning, and it would have been strange for them to be returning that early. As we began walking, we passed them sitting together, and he asked them. They were waiting for a boat which would take them on a field trip for the day. He suggested they may prefer the chocolate museum, and they assured him they had been earlier in the school year.

Our first stop was Great St. Martin’s Church, which was built over the remains of a Roman swimming pool that can still be toured today. St. Martin’s was once home to the Monastic Fraternities of Jerusalem, an unusual religious community made up of both monks and nuns. The Fraternities typically work in large urban areas. In 2022, the monks began to be reassigned, but the sisters remained in Köln to continue their work.

Saint Martin's Church

Oliver pointed out the Hohenzollern Bridge, better known as Köln’s love-lock bridge. More than a million locks are attached to its railings. If you want to participate, it is important to buy a lock with a key rather than a combination lock. You secure the lock to the bridge, throw away the key, and your commitment is sealed.

The Love Lock bridge

We also passed the Paolozzi Fountain in Rheingarten Park. It is made from Roman stones taken from old bridge towers, combined with abstract bronze pieces and water channels. The design is meant to resemble a generic city skyline.

Paolozzi Fountain

Along the way, we saw Stolpersteine, or stumbling stones, placed in the sidewalks to remember Jewish individuals and families who were victims of the Nazis. We had learned about these memorials in Speyer, and seeing them again was another reminder of how important it is to remember the people behind the history.

In Koblenz, we had seen a statue of Kaiser Wilhelm. In Köln, we saw a statue of his grandson, King Friedrich Wilhelm IV of Prussia. He was offered the title of Emperor of the Germans, or Kaiser, but declined because he preferred a title based on divine right rather than one granted by a popular assembly.

Friedrich Wilhelm IV of Prussia - We learned that most of the statues in Germany are of people named Frederick or William

Köln is sometimes called the northernmost Italian city because of its relaxed lifestyle. Oliver joked that the city is populated by Germany’s less-efficient Germans. Apparently, the same description is occasionally applied to Munich as well.

The Cologne Cathedral

The Cologne Cathedral took an incredible 632 years to complete. Construction began in 1248, and the first phase took approximately 300 years. Then, for the next 300 years, almost no progress was made. When the Prussians arrived, they completed the cathedral in only 38 years. It was finally finished in 1880.

The Cathedral in Cologne - we have better photos from the evening sail

The cathedral was hit by aerial bombs fourteen times during World War II, yet it remained standing while much of the city around it was destroyed.

It was built using several types of stone, including sandstone, and is in a nearly constant state of repair. The stonework was originally white, but air pollution darkened it over time. Exposure to the elements has also caused parts of the stone to crumble. The newer replacement stones are easy to spot because they are much lighter in color.

The lighter the stone, the more recent

The town crest of Köln features three crowns representing the Three Wise Men. The cathedral is home to the Shrine of the Three Kings, which tradition says contains the remains of the Biblical Magi in an elaborate golden sarcophagus.

The town crest of Köln

According to legend, Holy Roman Emperor Frederick Barbarossa took the remains from Milan, Italy, in 1164 and gave them to Archbishop Rainald of Dassel, who brought them to Köln. The shrine attracted religious pilgrims from across Europe and, about a hundred years later, helped inspire the construction of the cathedral.

All the entrances feature life-sized stone statues

This is the main entrance to the Cathedral on the West Façade. The statues here are mainly prophets from the Old Testament.

The interior of the Cologne Cathedral

Stained glass windows

The 16th-century Altar of Agilolphus

We were able to walk through the cathedral, and it is gorgeous inside. We wandered toward the back, found the Shrine of the Three Kings, and viewed it through a protective grate. We did not hear enough of the story to understand how anyone knew these were actually the remains of the Three Kings, but we both felt a great sense of peace while standing near the shrine.

The Shrine of the Three Kings

It is impossible to know whether that feeling came from being near the remains themselves or from the collective faith of all the pilgrims who had stood in that same place over the centuries.

Fords, Beer, and Helpful Gnomes

Ford opened a manufacturing plant in Köln in 1930 and has produced more than 18 million cars there. Ford is clearly a favorite brand in the city. Oliver told us that almost everyone in Köln has a friend or family member who has worked at the factory at some point.

Whenever a car tried to squeeze through the crowds, Oliver would yell, “Okay, it’s a Ford—let them through!” If people moved out of the way for a different brand, he would say, “Why are you moving? It isn’t even a Ford!”

At one point, a car was parked on the sidewalk. Oliver declared that this was perfectly acceptable because, of course, it was a Ford.

We passed several brauhäuser, or traditional beer halls. Oliver noticed that the waiters were smiling and said it must be because it was still early and they had not started working yet. Traditionally, according to Oliver, beer waiters are very grumpy.

We also passed the Fountain of the Elves, which features Frau Schneider, the tailor’s wife, surrounded by many small gnomes. According to legend, invisible helper gnomes did all the chores for the lazy people of Köln.

Frau Schneider was curious and wanted to see the gnomes for herself. She spread dried peas across the stairs, causing the gnomes to trip and fall so she could catch them. The gnomes were insulted and angry, so they left town and forced the lazy people of Köln to do their own work.

Even today, everything that goes wrong in Köln is blamed on the gnomes leaving.

Frau Schneider and the gnomes

We also learned the legend of the May tree. If a man loves a woman but has not declared his feelings, he should buy a birch tree, decorate it with ribbons and her name, and place it in front of her house on the evening before May 1. Traditionally, during leap years, women create May trees for men they are interested in, although today anyone can create one in any year.

A May tree (it was June, so it is looking like a Christmas Tree in January

Weddings are often held at the town hall, which has a clock tower. Below the clock is the Platzjabbeck, a wooden sculpture that opens its mouth and sticks out its tongue every hour. The sculpture was created in 1445, although the tongue was not added until 1913.

The Town Hall

The Platzjabbeck sticks his tongue out every hour

Across the street is the town hall mooner, known as the Kallendresser, or “gutter-defecator.” There are many stories explaining how the statue came to be, but it is generally considered a tribute to Köln’s long tradition of poking fun at authority.

The Town Hall Mooner

One of Köln’s biggest attractions is its beer. Kölsch is traditionally served in small, seven-ounce glasses, which helps keep it cold and fresh.

We passed several pubs, including Brauhaus zum Prinzen, which is owned by Köln footballer Lukas Podolski. Born in Poland, he moved to Germany at age 2 and later played on the German team that won the 2014 World Cup.

I thought the Goat was for Greatest of All Time, but Oliver said it's the mascot of the Köln football team.

The final sight on our morning tour was yet another statue of a Friedrich Wilhelm. This one was King Friedrich Wilhelm III, the father of Friedrich Wilhelm IV and the ruler of Prussia during the Napoleonic Wars in the early 1800s.

Friedrich Wilhelm III

Lunch and a Mustard Lesson

We returned to the ship for lunch and some relaxation. I ordered a Reuben sandwich, a regional specialty that I thought I should try. I asked for it without mustard, but the waiter strongly suggested that I keep the mustard. Otherwise, they would have to make a separate sandwich for me, and it would take longer.

I was not in a hurry, but I gave in and ordered it as is. As I had suspected, I did not care for the mustard at all.

Beer Culture and Dinner

That evening, we signed up for a Beer Culture and Dinner excursion. We had a choice among three guides, and we chose Oliver because we had enjoyed him so much during our morning walking tour.

We began with dinner at Peters Brauhaus, where Kölsch was served in the traditional seven-ounce glasses. Oliver explained that the waiters would continue bringing fresh glasses unless we placed a coaster over the top of our glass. I chose to skip the Kölsch. Oliver offered me wine or a soft drink, but I was perfectly content with water.

Bill tries to see the world through a server's eyes.
They carried those red carousels of beer all night for refills.

Our Dinner spot

Bill enjoys the first of several Kölsch beers

We learned that the most common way to say cheers in German is “Prost!” We were encouraged to clink the bottoms of our glasses rather than the rims and to make eye contact with the person we were toasting.

Apparently, it was once customary to invite the waiter to join you for each round of Kölsch. That practice is discouraged today, although a generous tip is generally enough to cover a round for the waiter.

Our starter course included liverwurst, Dutch cheese, blood pudding, ham, and potato salad. I ate the cheese and ham, and both were very tasty.

Cheese and ham were great. Bill ate my potato salad.

Dinner was a delicious and very tender pork roast served with beans, bratwurst, and potatoes. Oliver explained that bratwurst is fried and that sausage cooked on a grill would technically be called grillwurst. However, he assured us that non-Germans are allowed to call it all bratwurst.

Bill tried the spicy mustard with his bratwurst. I had already learned my lesson about German mustard earlier in the day.

Dinner was wonderful! The pork roast was very tender and flavorful!

By this point, many of our dinner companions—there were thirteen of us, including Oliver—were placing their coasters over their glasses so they would have room to sample more beer. Oliver told us that he had promised his wife he would keep his consumption below ten.

Many of our dining group

Dessert was Beer-amisu, a variation of tiramisu in which the sponge cake is soaked in beer rather than espresso. It is a Peters Brauhaus invention, and it was delicious.

Beer-amisu

We also learned that the drinking age in Germany is 14 when supervised and 16 when unsupervised.

We had a Kolsch at the Brauhaus zum Prinzen, which is the pub we'd seen earlier, owned by Köln footballer Lukas Podolski. He even has his photo on the coasters.

Local football hero Lukas Podolski on his own coasters

After this round, Oliver introduced us to the bronze statues of Tünnes and Schäl, characters from an old Köln puppet theater. Tünnes, a nickname for Antonius, is a country bumpkin with a bulbous nose and red hair. Schäl is the taller, thinner city slicker who can be a little underhanded.

Tünnes (left), Oliver (center), Schäl (right)

Several ladies in our group rubbed Tünnes’ nose for good luck. Yes, I went first. I'll not turn my nose up at a bit of luck.

Rubbing Tünnes' nose for luck

We then walked past Max Päffgen’s brewery and continued to Päffgen Brauhaus for our next beer tasting. Pfaffen apparently translates to “monks,” which inspired the brewery’s monk mascot. Brewery Päffgen is the oldest family-owned brewery still operating in Köln, in business since 1883.

In addition to Kölsch, we sampled a dark herbal schnapps intended to aid digestion. It contained licorice and anise, and I thought it tasted quite nasty.

Not a fan of the digestive

Our final beer stop was Brauhaus Sünner im Walfisch, a beer hall located in a gabled house dating from the 1600s. It was packed, but Oliver spoke with the staff, and we were immediately seated at a nice table in the back.

We returned to the ship less than 15 minutes before our scheduled departure for the Netherlands. It was close enough that they called our room to make certain we had returned to the ship (I may have forgotten to scan my key card). Before he left us to bike home, Oliver recommended we go to the upper deck of the ship to get photos of the Köln Cathedral in the twilight.